Well, here I am again, after a long while. I don’t know why, but it turns out I find it quite hard to write about riding. I really can’t figure out what makes it so difficult to put stuff into words. I just can’t seem to get a grasp of the experience and record it. This might have something to do with the fact that riding, for me, brings up a million different feelings all at once. From the first second I mount a horse, a tangled ball of thoughts starts playing basketball with itself in my head. “Did I sit on her too heavily… oh no I forgot my gloves… oh ok, they’re in my pocket… oh damn I forgot to alter my stirrups… I’ll just do that now… why can’t I ever manage the buckles?... everyone else can… ah it’s so nice to be riding again… I hope I can impress my trainer today… och come on girl, move a bit quicker… leg on leg on… oops remember, lower leg only, rest of me relax…” I swear, I’m mentally exhausted before I even get to the arena. And if I’ve been reading articles with horsemanship advice? Well… my trainer will be telling me one thing, and I’ll be trying to do that as well as the other 5 things I read about the night before. All the while getting seriously peeved at myself for not being at least as good as Carl Hester. Now who in their right mind would want to read a blog with all that?!!
Actually, on that last point there, negativity has been a serious issue of mine. It still rears its ugly head from time to time, but I’ve had a number of real “talking to’s” from my long suffering instructor. She has tried so hard to get me to think positively and I must say, her patience has –eventually- paid off. Oh she tried everything. The nice way, telling me 100 times how great my seat was in the canter… to which she’d get “yes but did you see my feet? I can’t get them right, I’m useless”. She tried the strict way, telling me I’d get nowhere with such a stinking miserable attitude. That would get her a sulking, snivelling me, not speaking to her for the rest of the lesson!
At some point I realised this was ridiculous. I admitted some difficult stuff to myself – very hard to do- and actually voiced some thoughts that were holding me in this permanent state of dissatisfaction with myself. I think a therapist would call that a breakthrough! The thing is that horses have this magic ability to bring out all your “issues”. The person you pretend to be everywhere else, at work, with friends, even with family, cannot take your place in the saddle. Only you can sit there, the true you, with all the baggage! And you just have to deal with it. Basically… riding brings out the psycho in you! In my purse I carry around a tag that came off a new pair of jods. It says:
“The horse is like your mirror, which never flatters you. He reflects your temperament as well as your uncertainties. Do not become angry with your horse, for by so doing, you are effectively deceiving yourself about your own reflected image” - Rudolf Binding. Kind of says it all, no?
So now, have I turned into this cheery, joyful, positive, smiley rider? No way! However, when my trainer asks what I thought of the lesson, I try to start with the good things. I still list all my mistakes in my head, but I actually believe it when someone says “Good job”. Yes, I still lose my stirrups, but I have found my sitting trot! I’m sure the stirrups will follow. How’s that for a good attitude?
And now all that’s out of the way, head over to YouTube and watch this video clip. It was filmed at my riding club! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FplIy2-yCk
And to answer a couple of questions I’m sure you’ll have:
a. No, he is not a groom there
b. No, I’ve no idea what vampires have to do with anything!
What a great place though!
Ciao.
PS. On time 1.28 and 1.29 you’ll see Maggie, the mare I’m riding these days.
